This is my first attempt at creating a pitch for my film, it is not completely done as i'm struggling with a successful synopsis but, that can always be improved upon.
You’ve not really got a synopsis. You’ve got some ideas that if you put them together you could make up a brief plot and refer to narrative theory. (Name check Todorov)
You need to define definitively the genre you are making, with analysis of conventions you would expect to see in that genre.
Good description of the cast/director, and reasons why you would use them. Particularly where you’ve referred to specific shots.
Good description of target audience but also how it would appeal outside of the target. Audience reception theory (Stuart Hall) would particular useful here to improve this part.
Good description of font and colours, this would benefit from visual examples. Explain what points from the good examples of films & posters you would use for your own (directly link to the examples where applicable), rather than what you ‘like’ about them. Speak about their effectiveness in regards to genre and your target audience.
You don’t really describe to much of the content of your magazine clearly as you speak about film magazines and then you use examples from fashion magazines. Clearify your mahgazine type, it could be that you create a film magazine aimed at females rather than males and the glamour/fashion aspect will be expressed in the cover.
Again a little clarification on who the magazine is aimed at will rectify this.
I believe you mentioned this verbally but it isn’t included in the text on your Power Point.
Excellent ideas for the names of your magazine with reasons why.
Genre needs to be definitively stated – is it a horror?
a little clarification is needed with the genre but the magazine section is very clearly defined.
Presentation Feedback
You presented very clearly although a little speedly. Stand whilst you present, as it is more formal and you can move around making eye contact with the audience so they know you are speaking to all of them. Also try to not read from the slides, cue card will help you do this.
What you need to do Work your way through this feedback and using the guidance hand out. The extra inclusion of sound/music you would use is an excellent addition to the pitch.
Initial feedback
ReplyDeleteYou’ve not really got a synopsis. You’ve got some ideas that if you put them together you could make up a brief plot and refer to narrative theory. (Name check Todorov)
You need to define definitively the genre you are making, with analysis of conventions you would expect to see in that genre.
Good description of the cast/director, and reasons why you would use them. Particularly where you’ve referred to specific shots.
Good description of target audience but also how it would appeal outside of the target. Audience reception theory (Stuart Hall) would particular useful here to improve this part.
Good description of font and colours, this would benefit from visual examples. Explain what points from the good examples of films & posters you would use for your own (directly link to the examples where applicable), rather than what you ‘like’ about them. Speak about their effectiveness in regards to genre and your target audience.
You don’t really describe to much of the content of your magazine clearly as you speak about film magazines and then you use examples from fashion magazines. Clearify your mahgazine type, it could be that you create a film magazine aimed at females rather than males and the glamour/fashion aspect will be expressed in the cover.
Again a little clarification on who the magazine is aimed at will rectify this.
I believe you mentioned this verbally but it isn’t included in the text on your Power Point.
Excellent ideas for the names of your magazine with reasons why.
Genre needs to be definitively stated – is it a horror?
a little clarification is needed with the genre but the magazine section is very clearly defined.
Presentation Feedback
You presented very clearly although a little speedly. Stand whilst you present, as it is more formal and you can move around making eye contact with the audience so they know you are speaking to all of them. Also try to not read from the slides, cue card will help you do this.
What you need to do
Work your way through this feedback and using the guidance hand out. The extra inclusion of sound/music you would use is an excellent addition to the pitch.